Jennaishealed.org

Well I should have updated this when it happened, but I failed to do so.  A few months back Jenna was moved to her OWN apartment thus working on increasing her independence and autonomy with her eventual return to home as the eventual goal.  It was absolutely fantastic because we got to go visit her every weekend because we got to stay with her, thus avoiding the expense of a hotel.  I was so excited it was ridiculous, and seeing her every weekend was awesome.

Unfortunately, the rehab center declined to renew the lease on the apartment and they returned her to a group setting again.  She will only be there a couple more months but it was a great disappointment to hear that she was being moved back.  There was nothing we could do about it since the rehab center has control over that.  I will leave my bitter comments about Corporate America effing over the little guy  for a fatter bottom line for another venue.

In any event, we *are* preparing to bring her home.  It will be SO nice to have her back again.  We miss her terribly and if this goes the way we all hope it will go, she will have a person to stay with her during the day and take her to therapy appointments.  Most importantly, it will bring this whole thing full circle again.

The accident ripped our family apart, and more than anything I have wanted to put it back together again.  In the mean time I have kept Jenna’s name and image ringing in Cooper’s ears in her absence and taken him to see her as often as is possible.  Mostly for Cooper’s sake because he deserves to have a mommy, and so help me he’s getting his back again.

Like I said right now we are working through the details of bringing her home and setting up the funding so she can be safe at home while I work.  The goal has been October of this year for a while now and we all cannot wait!  It is hard to describe what a joy she is to have around.  Her personality just shines and she is hilarious to boot.

In other news Cooper started second grade today.  I took pictures and videos so Jenna can see it also.  That is one thing I need to do more of, shoot videos of Cooper so Jenna can see more of him, more often.

Work is good, Cooper had fun at his Day Camp all summer, although the last couple of weeks it was so damn hot they spent a lot of the days inside watching movies.  Not what a summer camp is supposed to be about but oh well…

More, later!

Not tomorrow, but soon.  Her birthday visit was awesome, and made it clear to everyone involved that it’s time to prepare for her return!  This is awesome news!!!

She still has some issues to work on, but the major reason why she was/is in the CCS facility was the fact that her bipolar condition blazed out of control after the brain injury.  I lived with this condition for three years, dealing with constantly recycling rages of anger and screaming, until it got to the point where I literally could not take it anymore.  I had been driven into the brinks of insanity myself, from which I thankfully recovered.  It took a good year+ to come back from the brink of hell but here I am.

Anyway the birthday visit was fantastic.  Just about everything is going as best as can be imagined, with minor hiccups along the way.  I am starting a business in addition to working in a not-for-profit law firm that helps people of modest means.  Right now I am just a mostly-unpaid intern but things should change by the end of this month, and I’ve branched out with a side business repairing broken iPods and laptop computers.

Cooper and I are going to see Jenna again next weekend and will be sure to love her as much as possible.  I tell Cooper that our #1 job is to love his mommy.  He is such a sweet little child.  Just an amazing kid.

More later!

Cake 1:

Cake 2:

I got to go get Jenna and bring her back here for five days, for Cooper’s birthday, which we just celebrated with family on the day itself.  Then we had another party the following weekend for his little friends at chunky cheese’s.  Cooper had a great time and so did Jenna while she was here.  The first cake was a prototype for the second, larger one.  Cooper wanted carrot cake with a spongebob on a blue background.  Im a DIY kinda guy so I took a shot (or two) at it myself rather than spend $$ at a bakery…

On a more heavy topic, I saw a news report the other night about a family who’s little daughter’s life was saved because they had heard about Natasha Richardson’s death, and the circumstances around it.  What happened was, the father was hitting golf balls and accidentally beaned his little daughter in the temple.  The little girl was fine for a day or two, but then started complaining about a headache i think the second night at bedtime.  The mom had seen the Richardson story on TV and decided to play it safe by going to the emergency room.  The girl was rushed into brain surgery where a slow-bleed subdural hematoma was patched up and the little girl’s life was saved, literally at the last moment.  If they hadn’t brought her in on complaint of that headache, she never would have woken up the next morning.

All I can say to all that is, the Richardson family can take a small bit of comfort in that Natasha’s death, and the media coverage of it, absolutely and concretely saved that little girl’s life.   Nothing more to say about that beyond the obvious (wipes tear)…

Man I am in so much frickin pain, mostly physical, but also psychological.  Many people have told me to go to the hospital, and other than the financial issues with that, I just seem to resist out of sheer… laziness?  Inertia, maybe.  I hate hospitals, and I already got a $8,000 bill for the last time I went for an out-of-control manic episode last fall.  There is a county hospital here in Birmingham that I could go to but still I resist. 

 This morning I managed to work on the falling-down garage for about two hours before I had to stop due to the pain in my leg.  I was half the time sobbing while I was working because I kept seeing Cooper’s old tricycle sitting there, and that reminded me of so much that has gone “wrong” with this whole situation.  I put “wrong” in quotes because there was really nothing else that could be done, I know that I made the right decisions in keeping Cooper away from his mom during her own uncontrolled manic anger stage.  In the process I have missed out on so much of his life myself.  The tricycle has barely been used, which just reminds me how much Cooper has been gone. 

I suppose I am a “wuss” for crying so much.   The good news continues to be that Jenna is doing well on the Ritalin.  I tend to upset her on the phone which I know I should not do, but in my own personal hell here in ‘bama I have few others to talk to.  My policy on Jenna has been never to shield her from things, which I know at some level is the wrong policy.  But in my heart of hearts I want to treat her as “normal” as much as possible, which means being honest with her and not sheilding her from things that could upset her.  I know when I am doing it that I SHOULDN’T be doing it, but I just can’t stop myself sometimes. 

 The other thing that is positive is that Cooper is doing well, also.  I try to talk to him as much as possible over the phone.  He loves to have me read him stories over the phone.

I was in Wallyworld the other week and was looking at the childrens’ books to see what is on the market (I am writing stories for Cooper, and wanted to see what if anything I might eventually market), and I found this really cute book called “Amelia Asks for a Pet”.  Anyway, I read it to Cooper over the phone the other night and it soon became a regular thing to read him that book, two others he left here last time he was here, and one story I wrote him myself.  I am working on another one right now about a family of bees, which is why I am at this library computer ( I have again lost internet access at the house again), to do a little research.

 Well, my back is killing me and I need to go get horizontal.  More later when I can get back over here….

for his very generous contribution to the Jenna fund! I should have made note of all the other contributions from other people here but I was keeping track of those on the www.bmw2002faq.com off-topic board…

I have Jenna on the phone right now, and she is doing well. She is talking to a rehabilitation counsellor in an informal chat outside as she has her cigarette. I am having her check her own rehab “session” appointments and take responsibility for her own scheldule, to try to get that 50% attendance record up, WAY up. She has also given me a shopping list of some stuff she wants me to get her, just some bath items, and with Casey’s gift, I can! Thanks again, man!

Jenna just told me that she is very proud of me (awwww!!) and is glad I am sticking around.  Me, too, Jenna (the sticking around part).   She also says things like she is glad that the accident happened, that she prayed for something like this to happen, to “knock her the f*** out.”  There is a kind of innocence there (of what she has truly lost) but also a rememberance of the way her bipolar condition used to plague her moods and cause her so much angst and pain before the accident.  The difference is that before the accident the bipolar stuff was largely hidden, controlled.  Now it explodes onto the surface at the drop of a hat, although that too is also much improved now that she is on all the medications she is on now (zyprexa, elavil, lithium, ritalin, and Im probably leaving some out).  The brain injury combined with the bipolar is truly a double-damned situation and I am so grateful we finally found the meds to control it.  Now we just need to get her better and truly get her her life back, as much as is possible anyway…