Jennaishealed.org

Her speech issue seems to come and go. Sometimes she speaks much more rapidly and dynamically than “normal”, sometimes it is that slow, deliberate pattern. Maybe I am imagining the whole thing… In any case, I had two telephone meetings with her case manager and we are working out what the expectations are for when she comes home.

Coming home has been an issue already, since I still suffer the PTSD-like symptoms I have talked about before (I think). The other day I was really having a hard time, crying and just very depressed. The issues we face together are whether to stay together, whether I can take care of her at all and still remain functional myself, etc.

When I dropped her off in Indiana this past summer I was a freaking wreck. In a lot of ways I still am. I had high hopes for the therapy to totally remake Jenna’s ability to handle frustration, but so far it hasn’t worked. She still gets very loud very fast, although with her medications she calms down a lot faster than she did when we were in California in the first half of ‘07.

More later…

We have an appointment to talk further on monday. Should be interesting. It was hard at first to get ahold of him but good things come to those who wait..

I asked Jenna what she wanted to say on her new website, and she said “Have a good day, and then f*ck off!” (You have to know this girl to “get” her.. hehe) She is still my punk rock girl. For v-day I sent her a big teddy bear that says “Sweetheart” on a v-day heart it is clutching, as well as a card and some Ferrero Rocher candies. She got it all last week, so she had her V-day a bit early. There has been a lot of talk among us about Jenna and I splitting up, but that’s not going to happen any time soon. I debated it on several levels, in terms of my own sanity and ability to function as well as issues we were having before the accident happened. But for now at least, we are sticking together: even tho she is about 500 miles away physically I still try my best to be there for her via phone and stuff I send her….

From this point on, I will ONLY be posting to this main blog.  no more confusion from LiveJournal, the “forums” here, and myspace.

Her speech definitely seems improved.  She called me last night (we talk about five times a day), completely pissed off and out of control.  Again, the brain injury removes her ability to control her temper, and before she was on the drugs to control her bipolar disorder, it would flare totally out of control for minutes at a time.  Now, and last night, it only gets out of control for a moment or two.  Anyways, I calmed her down and she was speaking MUCH better.  Just more dynamic, less monotone, less “injured.”

Dont let the doctors tell you what isnt possible.  Keep fighting and make it so anyway!!